ANATOMY OF A BLOG

Some people use blogs are daily personal journals. They write religiously about what happened to them in the day:

"today, I had a boring day... I woke up, had corn flakes for breakfast, took a shit and spent the rest of the day watching TV naked".

I do not have the self-discipline to that.

The blogs I write are more a reflection of my mood and mental state. On days when I'm angry or sad or tired about anything, I write dark, unhappy blogs. On days when I'm happy, hopeful and feel one with the universe, I usually spend my time doing something worthwhile like sleeping, watching a movie or masturbating. Still, if for some strange reason I happen to find myself facing a monitor, I turn out a chirpy, funny blog.

In most blogs, I use song lyrics... usually printed in italics. Some people think these lyrics are just decorative. You're wrong: THEY'RE NOT!. They are there for a reason... sometimes they reveal my real mood... or whether I'm being ironic... or if I believe in what I'm writing or not... or provide some dark underground message... or simply are the glue that holds the entire blog together. They are part of the blog and should be considered as such. Sometimes the title of the blog is the title of the song I use... sometimes it's not...

I know I expect people to recognize what song it is... but then again sometimes I use songs that are extremely easy to recognize... songs that everybody knows... such as the Chicken Dance, Jingle Bells or the Theme Song from Barney the Purple Dinosaur:

I love you, you love me
We're a happy family
With a great big hug
And a kiss from me to you
Won't you say you love me too?

Ok.. Ok... so, what if sometimes obscure songs that nobody knows about, like, for example, track #5 from Kagagoogoo's second album or a segment from the second half hour of Jethro Tull's Thick as a Brick:

So! Come on ye childhood heroes!
Won't your rise up from the pages of your comic-books
your super-crooks and show us all the way.
Well! Make your will and testament.
Won't you? Join your local government.
We'll have Superman for president
let Robin save the day.

all in all, I find it that I write more or less about the same topics over and over again... which goes to show ya that I'm not very original or that I'm completely obssessed with certain topics or people... however, I write most of my stuff... although I sometimes, especially when I'm tired and uninspired, shamelessly steal from whichever source is available: TV shows, movies, song lyrics, newspaper articles, abandoned blogs, obscure literary works, the constitution, candy wrappers, the Holy Koran, or the infinite wisdom of Snoopy...

So there you have it... if you ever wondered how I write a blog -- I sure as hell haven't -- now, you don't have to anymore...

SHE SCREAMS IN SILENCE

I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe
I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one

She is everything. She is funny as hell. She is sour as a lemon. She is smarter than anyone I know. She is immature. She is vulnerable. She is patient. She is kind. She is sweet. She’s a bitch. She is a cynic. She is simple. She is complicated. She is.

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

She is not afraid of living life. She makes fun of herself. She takes people as they are. She likes to hide. She plays games. She manipulates. She wins. She gets on my nerves. She screams in silence. She tells great stories. She makes, takes, likes, gets, tells...is.

So take me as I am
This may mean
You'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that
When I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing

She is one of the reasons I can write and live and love and dance and fuck and smile and create and recreate and travel and calculate and function and pray and believe and orbit and spin and absorb and maintain and forgive and die…and….and that’s all.

Just when you think, you got me figured out
The season's already changing
I think it's cool, you do what you do
And don't try to save me

SHE SCREAMS IN SILENCE

I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe
I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one

She is everything. She is funny as hell. She is sour as a lemon. She is smarter than anyone I know. She is immature. She is vulnerable. She is patient. She is kind. She is sweet. She’s a bitch. She is a cynic. She is simple. She is complicated. She is.

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

She is not afraid of living life. She makes fun of herself. She takes people as they are. She likes to hide. She plays games. She manipulates. She wins. She gets on my nerves. She screams in silence. She tells great stories. She makes, takes, likes, gets, tells...is.

So take me as I am
This may mean
You'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that
When I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing

She is one of the reasons I can write and live and love and dance and fuck and smile and create and recreate and travel and calculate and function and pray and believe and orbit and spin and absorb and maintain and forgive and die…and….and that’s all.

Just when you think, you got me figured out
The season's already changing
I think it's cool, you do what you do
And don't try to save me