NIFOC

Don't understand what's going on
Woke up this morning,
All the hurt was gone
This is a new beginning
I'm back in the land of the living

Friday, April 22, 2005

WOULDN'T IT BE NICE?

Wouldn't it be nice if I really were part of that family... Wouldn't it be nicer if I just realized I already am...

Wouldn't it be nice to go through an entire month without having to worry about money, and credit card payments, and where the fuck am I going to get 5000 colones for a quarter tank of gas... Wouldn't it be nicer if I didn't have to worry about anything...

Wouldn't it be nice if things, for once, went my way... and all my fantasies and desires came true... at least for one more day... Wouldn't it be nicer if I just realized that some already have...

a striptease would also be nice... maybe as an extremely belated birthday gift... wouldn't it be nicer if it came spontaneously from the right person at the right time...

Wouldn't it be nice if I could disappear for a couple of weeks... and nobody knew where to find me... or if I was dead or alive... wouldn't it be nicer if people actually cared and didn't let me do that...

Wouldn't it be nice if I found a job in another country... where I had opportunities to grow and expland... and make money... and have a happy meaningful life without worries... wouldn't it be nicer to share all that with all the people I truly love...

Wouldn't it be nice if I died, so I could become a ghost... and go into your room every night and make sweet love to you while you're asleep... wouldn't it be nicer not to have to die to do that..

I have no doubt whatsover that all these things will indeed happen.. because I am much more than I think I am. I can be much more even than that. I can influence my environment. The people. I can influence space itself. I can influence the future. I am resposnsible for all those things. I and the surround are not seperate. They're part of one. I'm connected to it all. I'm not alone...

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

WHY DON'T WE JUST GET DRUNK...
AND FUCK!!!

I don't care anymore if I'm not well compensated...
I don't care anymore if you don't feel about me the way I feel about you...
I don't care anymore if you never want to see me again...
I don't care anymore if I never get to be who I want to be...
I don't care anymore if you're mean and unfair to me..
I just don't care anymore...

I really do appreciate the fact you're sittin' here
Your voice sounds so wonderful
But your face doesn't look too clear anymore..
I can't remember how you look anymore...
And my imagination doesn't work the way it used to
So honey... why don't we get drunk and fuck?