FEAR

Time keeps on moving and nothing seems to change...
Seriously, I'm really afraid because at this point...
next year feels like it's going to be just like this one...
and...

I cannot stand, support, resist or endure
another year like this one...
nor physically... nor emotionally...
I´ve crossed the thin line between love and hate
far too many times this year...

no good! I´m afraid.... I´m really afraid.

THE PAUPER

I don't care anymore. I could care less and I wouldn't even notice... I would just have to make the littlest effort not to fake a smile without sarcasm dripping off from my pores. Nothing really makes any sense at all. The only moment when anything makes sense anymore is when I'm asleep... Only in my dreams can I find those memories that made me happy... and the only thing that gets me through the day is the two cents of morning affection and romance ... and that's it.

Maybe some people sit around waiting for fame and fortune...others just a decent honorable end to their existence... I'm just waiting and waiting for an end.... it doesn't have to be decent nor honorable... just an end...

This pauper is tired... tired of losing at domino against myself... tired of begging and pleading... tired of walking up and down the same street without finding anything... tired of pity... tired of waiting...