...But, I am fully aware that circumstances, situations, variables and people change and that promises sometimes can not be kept... but it still hurts. Maybe is that I've had too many crushed illusions at an early age... I think I've learned not to trust people -- and the very few times I am gullible enough to build my hopes up and believe or trust in what somebody tells me or promises me... and if I discover I've been a fool... a little part of my soul dies
And I will not complain... I will not say anything... but something will change... an almost unnoticeable change of behavior... I'll just may drift away... or change the frequency I do something... or maybe stop all together...
But do not expect me to tell people what it is... or how they've hurt me... my problem is that I expect people to make an effort and figure it out for themselves... sure, I may give clues here and there... I confess I live my life as a puzzle... and I leave pieces everytwhere... for the people who really give a damn to put them together... still, I refuse to accept charity... even I have pride - believe it or not...
Contrary to what I may have said at anytime, I like to be surprised... Because surprises tell me that people care... and it doesn't have to be anything big... I dwell on details... a small but significant detail on any given day is definitely more valuable than a big gift on my birthday or Christmas... I love when people do something special for no reason what-so-ever... I love to do it... but maybe I shouldn't expect people to do the same for me... but the day that happens, which I think is not that far away... I will have finally become a walking soul-less corpse...
I guess it's been too long since I've been to the Sunshine State... and everyday that passes since... the dark side of my heart just becomes a little darker...
