ANATOMY OF A BLOG

Some people use blogs are daily personal journals. They write religiously about what happened to them in the day:

"today, I had a boring day... I woke up, had corn flakes for breakfast, took a shit and spent the rest of the day watching TV naked".

I do not have the self-discipline to that.

The blogs I write are more a reflection of my mood and mental state. On days when I'm angry or sad or tired about anything, I write dark, unhappy blogs. On days when I'm happy, hopeful and feel one with the universe, I usually spend my time doing something worthwhile like sleeping, watching a movie or masturbating. Still, if for some strange reason I happen to find myself facing a monitor, I turn out a chirpy, funny blog.

In most blogs, I use song lyrics... usually printed in italics. Some people think these lyrics are just decorative. You're wrong: THEY'RE NOT!. They are there for a reason... sometimes they reveal my real mood... or whether I'm being ironic... or if I believe in what I'm writing or not... or provide some dark underground message... or simply are the glue that holds the entire blog together. They are part of the blog and should be considered as such. Sometimes the title of the blog is the title of the song I use... sometimes it's not...

I know I expect people to recognize what song it is... but then again sometimes I use songs that are extremely easy to recognize... songs that everybody knows... such as the Chicken Dance, Jingle Bells or the Theme Song from Barney the Purple Dinosaur:

I love you, you love me
We're a happy family
With a great big hug
And a kiss from me to you
Won't you say you love me too?

Ok.. Ok... so, what if sometimes obscure songs that nobody knows about, like, for example, track #5 from Kagagoogoo's second album or a segment from the second half hour of Jethro Tull's Thick as a Brick:

So! Come on ye childhood heroes!
Won't your rise up from the pages of your comic-books
your super-crooks and show us all the way.
Well! Make your will and testament.
Won't you? Join your local government.
We'll have Superman for president
let Robin save the day.

all in all, I find it that I write more or less about the same topics over and over again... which goes to show ya that I'm not very original or that I'm completely obssessed with certain topics or people... however, I write most of my stuff... although I sometimes, especially when I'm tired and uninspired, shamelessly steal from whichever source is available: TV shows, movies, song lyrics, newspaper articles, abandoned blogs, obscure literary works, the constitution, candy wrappers, the Holy Koran, or the infinite wisdom of Snoopy...

So there you have it... if you ever wondered how I write a blog -- I sure as hell haven't -- now, you don't have to anymore...