THUDERSTRUCK

In this time of fear,
When prayer so often proves in vain
Hope seems like the summer birds,
Too swiftly flown away
Yet now I'm standing here,
My heart so full I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words,
I'd never thought I'd say

My "girlfriend" is a wonderful girl. She really cares about me, she supports me and she has put up with so much from me, and yet everyday she tries her best to make me happy. And I'm truly, madly and deeply in love with her... She's the light of my life, the song in my heart.

Of course, we fight a lot... like some "couples" often do... For example, she often accuses me of not being as understanding and supportive as she would like me to be... and I often accuse her of not being as romantic as I would like her to be...

However, it took an outsider's opinion to make me see how romantic she really is with me... I told this third person something she had said... and before I knew it this person was crying over the phone... telling me that it was the most romantic thing she had ever heard and that I should realize how lucky I was to have someone like her in my life... gulp!... truth be told, I know I am lucky to have her... I've always known...

Obviously, there has to be a teensy weensy little big problem... I only get to spend with her only a few minutes every day -- less each day, in fact -- and the fact that I can't be with her more... that I can't hug her, kiss her, pamper her, tell her i lover her, make love to her every second of the day... saddens me, frustrates me and makes me raging with anger -- not at her, of course -- but at myself, at the circumstances that prevent me from doing so and at life... and, needless to say, also at the lucky bastard who gets to do what I can't...

What frustrates and enrages me even more is than when I'm with her... instead of taking advantage of every fleeting moment... instead of drinking every last drop of time... and try to make every second last an hour... I let my anger and frustration run wild and overwhelm my reason and rational self... and I end up pulling away and sometimes behaving like a jerk...

I need to change this but I don't know how... because our time is short and I want whatever time we have left together to be as happy as possible... because she deserves it and so do I.

There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracle, you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe.