DECK THE HALLS

I'm assembling the greatest collection of Christmas Carols ever made... 100 Carols in English, 25 in Spanish and everything from Mannheim Steamroller I can get my sandy claws on... So, in the spirit of Xmas, or Festivus (the holiday for the rest of us), or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or whatever it is that you celebrate... here are my choices for the best not traditional carols ever made:

1. Grandma Got Runover By a Reindeer - Elmo & Patsy
   
   
   Grandma got run over by a reindeer
   Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
   You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
   But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
   


2. The Night Santa Went Crazy (Extra Gory Version) - Weird Al Yankovic
   
   Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
   Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
   And he tied up his helpers
   And he held the elves hostage
   And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
   
   


3. I Believe in Father Christmas - Greg Lake (Emerson, Lake & Palmer)
   
   They sold me a dream of Christmas,
   They sold me a silent night,
   They told me a fairy story,
   'Til I believed in the Israelite.
   


4. Merry Fuckin' Christmas - Mr. Garret (from South Park)
   
   Hey there, Mr. Shintoist, Merry Fuckin' Christmas!
   God is gonna kick your ass, you infidelic pagan scum!
   In case you haven't noticed,
   There's festive things to do!
   So let's all rejoice for Jesus!
   


5. Father Christmas - The Kinks
   
   Father Christmas, give us some money
   We'll beat you up if you make us annoyed
   Father Christmas, give us some money
   Don't mess around with those silly toys
   

and just for fun... here are my choices for the best rock/pop versions of traditional carols:

1. Jingle Bell Rocks - Hall & Oates
2. Santa Claus is Comin' To Town - Bruce Springsteen & The E Steet Band
3. Little Drummer Boy - Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band
4. Twelve Days of Christmas - John Denver & The Muppets
5. Frosty the Snowman - Leon Redbone & Dr. John
6. Hark! The Herald Angel Sings (Gloria in Excelsis Deo) - Mariah Carey
7. I Saw Three Ships - Jon Anderson
8. Joy To The World - Neil Diamond
9. Winter Wonderland - The Eurythmics
10. Carol of the Bells - Johnny Matthis.

And as Lennon said...
"A very merry Christmas and a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one without any fear"