TWO STEPS BACK

The other day a friend who lives overseas begged me to look at certain things with a little more perspective... “Take two steps back and everything will seem different”… At first, I must confess, I snorted at that notion… taking two steps back is for the weak… I’m not like that… My biggest thrill is to look at danger right in the eye and prove myself that I have the strength to walk away if I want to… no regrets… and no prisoners.

What is the worst insult that anyone can give you?

That’s simple… the worst insult has to be something that attacks directly the weakest spot of your self-esteem…. Which means that insults have to be custom-made according to the victim. That is, if you know you’re smart and someone calls you “stupid”, the insult is not going to take. However, if deep down you have insecurities about how smart you are, or how thin you are, or whatever… a simple insult like “stupid” might make more damage –over the course of a few days- than any harsher word. My point here is people need time to digest things… insults that may not be effective when said could become deadly over the course of a few days… because such things creep on you… haunt you… until they get under your skin. I believe advise works the same way, for better or for worst.

For example, a couple of years ago, I became an avid reader of Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hensen’s “Chicken Soup for the Soul”… great stories to rekindle your spirit.. and I guess my spirit needs a lot of constant rekindling. Whenever I read a story that inspired me… I wanted to share it with people… so in more than one occasion, I took the time to transcribe that story (if I couldn’t find it anywhere on the Net already transcribed) and send over e-mail to a few people. Most people would get it, maybe read it, maybe not… but I found that those who didn’t delete at first, came back to that story sometime later… read it again and again… and eventually… the story took… and I began noticing interesting changes in some people. Insults, my friends, work the same way.

“From a distance
You look like my friend
Even though we are at war
From a distance
I just cannot comprehend
What all this fighting’s for”

So my friend’s advise to take a couple of steps back did finally take…. Now, I’m starting to look at things from a different perspective…from a distance... Trying to prioritize things in my life…money, work, love, sex, friendship, movies, music, family

work over family?... sex over friendship?.... money over free time?.... fame over fortune?... pride over love?... future over present?... adventure over peace?... thrill over guilt?... comedy over drama?.... where the clowns?

"isn't it rich, are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground, you in mid air!
Send in the clowns!

Isn't it bliss, don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around, one who can't move!
Where are the clowns? Send in the clowns!

Isn't it rich, isn't it queer?
Losing my timing this late in my career!
Where are the clowns? There's gotta be clowns!"

After a lot of soul searching... My wife and my son wound up – as expected- at the top of the list… and you know what’s funny?… when you take two steps back… the list ends there.