AULD LANG SYNE

So... 2004 is finally gone. That's it. The fucking year is no more... .There will never again be a 2004: the worst year of my life in recent history... And the only thing I can do is smile...

I do hope 2005 will be better... it has to be... but i'm trying not to have any high pie-in-the-sky expectations of it.

I remember Dec. 31st 2002... The new year caught me in bed, lights off... awaken by the loud display of fireworks that were happing just outside... baby was just a few weeks old and had had a feeding at 10 pm... so by midnight he and the mrs were both sound asleep and amazingly both slept through 45 minutes of loud bangs and booms...

2004 started the worst possible way... an omen of things to come... Dec. 31 2003... at midnight... I was completely alone with half empty bottle of whiskey... masturbating in front of my computer screen...

Now 2004 has finally ended... and last night as my cousin led the family in prayer and talked about the importance of being among our loved ones on New Years Eve... I looked up and found myself surrounded by relatives I only see twice or three times a year at the most, by a bunch of people I don't even know who were friends of my uncle's and by closer relatives I did not wanted to be with... and asked myself... why can't I be with my loved ones on New Years Eve?... Why can't I ring in the new year among the people I want to be with?... Why can't things start the right way for once?...

And you know what... I answered myself... there's no reason why things should not be the way I want them to be from now on...

So this I vow... before the Holy of Holiest... that if my loved ones want to be with me... I will spend Dec. 31 2004 among the people I really love and want to be with... and that 2006 will start the way 2005 should have started...